Icing
by warperchick
Summary: Crack-fics have been renamed with Icing-fics. Just a bunch of hilarious scenes decided by you and whenever i'm high on eating icing! Supernatural humor, hurt/comfort, you name it and i'll write it! Doesn't matter which universe either! Chapter 2: Tōketsu mizu de shawā o abiru If you don't like random shizz, don't read! UPDATED CHAPTER 2!
1. Chapter 1: I See You

**Here is a story I wrote while I was on icing. Not on crack. BEHOLD THE FIRST ICING-FIC. Not crack-fic guys. Lawls, but anywho, please R&R and this won't be a one-shot. There will be other icing-fics continuing this one and they'll be just as random.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own transformers…**

_**Warning: Energon, energon-sucking, glitching**_

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**Chapter One: I See You**

Red Alert served as the security director for the Autobot faction for milli-vorns. He sat on his chair in his office going through each and every camera online, making sure everything was in one piece. The mech had seen every detail from a casual orn of work to hidden love affections in the dirty cycles or night. It all seemed normal until that one night…

It was close to 11 PM according to Sunstreaker's internal chronometer; he was waiting. The front liner was waiting in the halls so deep within the Ark's bowels it was a dead end.

"He should be here by now," Sunstreaker thought to himself. The golden mech let out a low growl and received a similar growl in reply.

Bluestreak appeared from the shadows and was met in embrace with the golden front liner. The Praxian smiled smugly, "I'm sorry to keep you waiting."

Sunstreaker smiled back and said as he brushed his cheekplate with the other, "Nevermind. You're here."

Their optics met and they both flickered to a deep shade of purple. Sunstreaker kissed the young gunner romantically slipping in his glossa into the other's mouth. The front liner growled as Bluestreak gently bit on the glossa with sharp fangs rising from his dentas. Energon flowed from the small wound and mixed with their glossae. Bluestreak smiled a fanged, cocky smile as Sunstreaker pressed their frames closer together; he pushed the younger mech to the wall with elongated fangs exposed and his bit into the gunner's main energon line within his neck cables. Bluestreak gasped and dug his digits into the golden armour. He moaned with every suck and shivered as the glossa licked his delicate cables.

"So tasty," Sunstreaker murmured lifting from the bleeding wound. He kissed Bluestreak's lipplates and smeared the purple energon on him. The smell of it would have been sickening, but to them, it was delicious high-grade. The two mechano-vampires kissed and bit each other, continuously letting out hisses of pleasure and arousal.

Red Alert jaw-dropped at the monitor screen as he felt a glitch come up on his systems, he jumped from his chair before crashing to the orange floor with a loud clang. The last thing he saw were the two mechano-vampires staring at him as if they had known Red Alert was watching through the hidden camera.

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**t-hee, this is what I call and icing-fic because crack-fics are overrated!**

**R&R and tell what poor unfortunate bot(s) I should mess with :)**


	2. Chapter 2: Tōketsu mizu de shawā o abiru

**OK! So i was musing on Starfire201's suggestion and i came up with this. it was going to go one way, but went the other because i found a new muse rabbit. so please enjoy! and whatever you request with be submitted into a chapter of random shizz.**

**So please go ahead and R&R!**

**Disclaimer: i own nothing. not even the lambo that is presented.**

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**Chapter 2: Tōketsu mizu de shawā o abiru!**

Miko was impressed with the new Autobot that had arrived on her planet. Well, he wasn't alone; he had a companion, Red Alert. She immediately liked Inferno and marveled his absent servo that just so happened to be a water hose.

"I used to have both of my servos. That was until I lost it due to it melting off during one of my assignments. The Halls of Science had caught fire and I was to rescue the scientists that were trapped inside. I was a little clumsy and knocked over a terribly acidic liquid onto my arm and had it melted clean off," Inferno said to the Japanese girl.

"Whoa, that is so cool. A battle scar," she reached to touch the arm, but Inferno pulled away.

He had a frown, "One that I regret."

"Miko, you should learn not to intrude on personal matters," Ratchet said with his usual annoyance.

The girl only looked at the medic, "Chill doc-bot. I mean no harm; after all, you did say one wrong step and squish we go. That's how defenseless we, humans, are." She skipped off and Ratchet scowled.

"Why don't you step on her?" Inferno asked once he was sure she was gone from earshot.

"We get kicked off the planet," Ratchet replied sourly as he continued to look over Red Alert before he would let him go, "You two also need to follow the rules and find an Earth based vehicle mode to blend in. And unlike Smokescreen, please choose something low profile. We don't want to attract attention to ourselves."

"Why would I want to attract attention to myself? I don't like attention, I'd prefer to avoid it," Red Alert said with widening optics, slightly squirming.

"Lie still."

Inferno and Red Alert returned from their "hunt" with their new vehicle modes. Inferno chose an Isuzu Rescue Pumper from Japan and Red Alert chose the most stunning vehicle one would think he would never choose for a low profile: a Lamborghini.

But it wasn't just a Lamborghini…

Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-40 from Italy. It was a crimson red lambo with black tinted windows and rims. White marked its sides with thick lines from the start of the front tires and thinned out to the rear tires. Over the white, it read in bold black letters underlined in green: Direttore della Sicurezza.

He transformed and saw the jaw drops of his fellow Autobots, human allies and Agent Fowler. In his defense, Red Alert said, "I really liked this model."

It only got worse during battle for Red Alert. Normally, he would not lump out into a fight, but Ratchet had called dibs on staying on base. Knockout caught a glimpse of the Lamborghini and marveled. Tripping the mech, Knockout said, "Hot pick."

Inferno's fist collided into Knockout's faceplate, knocking him off, "My hot pick you fragger."

"WHY YOU! You scratched my beautiful face!" Knockout growled out loud as he felt a nasty mark on his white faceplate.

"Oh, I'm sorry. How about a wash?" Inferno activated his water pump, _"Tōketsu mizu de shawā o abiru!"*_

Returning to the silo, Red Alert asked Inferno, "What did you say to Knockout? I did not catch that."

Inferno smirked, "I told him to take a shower in freezing water. It's Japanese."

"And where did you learn to speak that dialect?"

"The _World Wide Web_. I am a Japanese fire truck after all."

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**"Tōketsu mizu de shawā o abiru" means "take a shower in freezing water"**

**Heh. please leave me your reviews!**


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